Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart: The Best of Buddhism & Psychotherapy
With Mark Epstein, M.D. and Robert A.F. Thurman | August 22 - 24, 2025
For many years, much of Western psychology has promised fulfillment through the building up and strengthening of the ego. We are taught that the ideal is a strong, individuated and confident self, constructed and reinforced over a lifetime. But Buddhist psychology has always counseled a different approach. While the ego has its place, happiness is not seen as coming from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological, happiness is understood as coming from letting go. In Western psychology, this understanding, which sits at the center of Buddhist thought and practice, has been articulated most clearly by the British child analyst Donald Winnicott when he wrote of the need for what he called ‘unintegration,’ differentiating it from both ego integration and complete disintegration. Unintegration is the ability to go to pieces without falling apart, as can happen in meditation, in play, in imagination, in love and sex, or even, at times, in therapy. In Tibetan Buddhism, this insight is codified in the nicknames given for the four stages of Highest Yoga Tantra: Looking, Smiling, Embracing and Orgasm, because the closest we can come in ordinary life to the happiness of the Buddha comes in our love relations.
This weekend’s workshop will encourage the relaxation of the ever-vigilant mind in order to experience the freedom that comes from relinquishing control. We will draw on the best of psychotherapy and Buddhism: the teachings of Winnicott and the great 14 th century Tibetan lama Tsongkhapa, as filtered through, and interpreted by, Mark Epstein and Robert Thurman. Weaving meditation, discussion, personal reflection, and, ideally, inspiration, we will invite participants to experience how this neglected capacity has the potential to reinvigorate our minds.
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Mark Epstein, M.D.
Mark Epstein, M.D. is a psychiatrist in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism & psychotherapy, including Thoughts without a Thinker, Going to Pieces without Falling Apart, Going on Being, Open to Desire, Psychotherapy without the Self, The Trauma of Everyday Life & Psychotherapy without the Self: A Buddhist Perspective. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University and is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University. For more information about the work and writings of Dr. Mark Epstein, M.D. please visit his website: www.markepsteinmd.com.
Robert Thurman
Robert Thurman is Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies at Columbia University as well as Co-Founder and President of Tibet House US/Menla in service of HH Dalai Lama & the people of Tibet. A close friend of the Dalai Lama’s for over 50 years, he is a leading world-wide lecturer on Tibetan Buddhism, passionate activist for the plight of the Tibetan people, skilled translator of Buddhist texts, and inspiring writer of popular Buddhist books. His most recent book is the 300 page graphic novel, Man of Peace: the Illustrated Life Story of the Dalai Lama of Tibet.
In partnership with Nena Thurman and dedicated contributors, he now focuses on making Tibet House US and its Menla Retreat & Spa a global center for the promotion, study and practice of Tibetan Buddhist healing arts and sciences of body, mind, and spirit, dedicated as a complement to the vast life work of its patron, His Holiness the Dalai Lama.
